Before I dive into today’s article, I have a question for you.
Over the past few years publishing the Raven’s Writing Desk, there are two series that I started, never finished, but always meant to get back to. Now that I have some time following the recent conclusion of my series on Polycarp with Tim Suffield, I’d like yours thoughts on which one I should return to.
The first series was simply called, “Jude” and focussed on the Epistle of Jude to the early church. The series focussed on the context of the letter, and its immediate reception. Jude’s letter has often been overlooked, partially due to its size, but also because of its overlap with another letter, written by Peter. If I returned to this, I’d likely re-edit the series from scratch, thereby replacing the existing articles.
The second was about the works of Jane Austen, looking at how we as Christians can grow through reading fiction, especially novels written by Christians! I started by looking at Pride and Prejudice, but intended to explore her other works too, particularly Mansfield Park—my personal favourite—and Northanger Abbey.
If you could only read one, which would it be? (Bonus points if you tell me why!)
I’m writing this while sitting in one of Oxford’s most famous bookshops. I’ve done some calculations and my best guess is that if I were to read for eight hours a day, every day, it would take me roughly 350 years to read every book currently housed on these shelves.
I’d better get started.
Before I do though, I’d like to talk about a book that’s never been published. One that was never intended for any eyes but those of the writer himself. My great-great-grandfather, Arthur, was a minister and chaplain, born in the late 1800s and recently I’ve been reading through the only journal he left behind. It has been an immense encouragement to me—although I wish that I hadn’t inherited his hieroglyphic handwriting, I can only apologise to my own great-great-grandson.
One passage that stood out to me was written after Arthur had visited some friends on his way to seminary; he remarked "I think one of the chief things I must do is not tread necessarily so widely as deeply." Around this time he was reassessing the relationships he’d formed up until that point, some of which he subsequently decided to break off, and others went on strong throughout entire his life.
Even while travelling the world as a chaplain, Arthur always made sure his feet—and heart—dug deep.
Arthur’s Advantage
I crossed the finish line, exhausted. This was years before my body began to break down and running would no longer be possible—I was never very good at it anyway. I hadn’t come last in the race, but near enough. The other two runners joined me about a second later, but before I could commiserate with them about our share of the losing spots, I saw a hand waving me over. Mr Baldwin was a maths teacher at my school—and an Elder at my church—but today he was the timekeeper. Sports Day is a yearly event and everyone has their place. This was his. I only had two events to compete in, the 110m Hurdles and the 100m sprint. Everyone in the school had to run a sprint, so this was kept until the last hours of the day and I was in one of the final races.
“Come and take a look at this,” he said, gesturing to two points on his clipboard. Next to my name were two stats, one for each of my races. One was significantly faster than the other. He smiled incredulously at me, not needing to ask the obvious question.. How had I run the 100m sprint slower than I’d managed in the 110m hurdles? I can’t remember the exact scores. We just laughed.
What race are you preparing for?
I find maintaining friendships far easier than making them in the first place. The difficulty is often that I try to tread too deep, too quickly. My attempts at friendship have often looked like a man running a sprint as though there are dozens of hurdles in the way. Potentially faster, but too strange for others to join in.
Arthur, unlike us, lived in a much slower society. Letter writing was possible, but there were no mobile phones, no internet, no social media. Friendship was a much slower, much more thought-out endeavour. Rather than a walk, a jog, a sprint, or hurdles, or a marathon, it was more like a pentathlon made up of all five. We should learn to do the same.
Training for the Pentathlon
Take a look at that list again:
Walk. Jog. Sprint. Hurdles. Marathon.
If you were to have to compete in all five in five months time, which would you currently be confident in? I’d guess most of you would be fine with walking, others could jog, and some might have even competed in marathons in the past!1
In any case, each of us would have to consider the races we’re less fit for. Perhaps your lungs couldn’t handle a sprint right now, or your legs aren’t strong enough to jump a single hurdle; let alone twelve. Over the next five months, you would certainly train again in your strength areas, but you should spend more time on your weaker ones. That will give you the greatest chance of success.
Friendship is the same. Some people are excellent at maintaining friendships for the long-haul. One of my oldest friends is like this. He has a few close friends that he’s known for years, but he’s always struggled with forming new ones. Others are the reverse, they can make friends anywhere, even with people they don’t share a common language with! A few weeks later, however, they won’t even be able to tell you their names. If we are to tread deeply, to build friendships that last a lifetime, we need to walk with people, we need to train alongside them in the way of the word, we need to help them to run from sin—and allow them to help us too. We must face down the struggles of life together, with the Lord as our guide, and we need to be there together, 25 miles—or years—down the line, when we’re tired and struggling to go on.
Friendship takes a lifetime.
Which race is your weakest, and how can you train yourself for it? Perhaps you could ask your spouse or a close friend if you’re unsure. How would they like to see you grow? Maybe you need to find a pace-setter, someone who already runs that race well who can help to train you to do the same? What’s one thing you’d like to work on in your friendships this week?
Grace and Peace,
Adsum Try Ravenhill
I feel it’s important to add that some of us, myself included, could never compete in any for health reasons. This is just a metaphor though.
I could count my close friends on the fingers of one hand! I have a larger number of acquaintances but I don’t easily or quickly make friends. I do find that with real friends it somehow it doesn’t matter if for some reason you are out of touch for a very long time because even then when contact is made it’s always as if the last contact and conversation was just the previous day.
Perhaps continue both if possible, they both sound very worthwhile.